Monday, November 29, 2004

Art of the Almost Useless

Chindogu (珍道具) - the art of the almost useless invention. With a cult-like following in Japan and growing world-wide, Chindogu are largely the brainchildren of Kenji Kawakami. Fed up with Japan's obsession with convenience (case in point here), these "unuseless inventions" are his subtle protest against modern consumerism. Whatever the reasons, they always crack me up.


Baby Mop
make him earn his keep



Earring Safety Net
never lose an earring again



Personal Rain Collector
free rain!



Solar-Powered Torch
when broad daylight just isn't enough



Portable Crosswalks
cross the road in safety - anywhere!



Hold-It Helmet
don't waste your day watching the road



Umbrella Tie
ready for rain and looking sharp


click here for more almost useless inventions
and here for full article on Chindogu

Friday, November 26, 2004

School Lunches and Surgical Masks

Lunch-time at Kitagawa primary school is always one of those “We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto!” moments.


photo by Ged

Lunch at primary school back home was generally a matter of finding a free bench and wolfing down a couple of sandwiches before getting stuck into the more serious business of some low-down and reckless playing.

Lunch at Kitagawa Primary is a complex series of rituals that would give a Master Mason a head spin. Here’s the basic rundown:

  1. At 12:30, 3rd, 4th and 5th graders file into the Dining Hall in white aprons, white hats and white surgical masks.

  2. With chopsticks and ladles, they divide the day’s menu (chosen months in advance by the school nutritionist) proportionally among the members of each table, serving-sizes determined by age and indicated by colour-coded tags on top of each milk-bottle.

  3. When the food is served and the third, fourth and fifth graders are seated, a buzzer is rung by a chosen representative and a red flag is waved.

  4. Remaining students file into the room and silently take their seats.

  5. Another student representative at the front of the room goes through the day’s menu on the board with a wooden pointer, briefly explaining the nutritional balance of the meal by indicating on a large diagram the food groups each menu item falls into.

  6. Surgical masks are removed and placed in the apron’s front pocket.

  7. The clock is consulted and the time by which meals must be eaten is set and announced - 20 minutes, to the minute, from time of announcement.

  8. Everyone bows and says in unison “ittadakimasu”.

  9. Meal is eaten.

  10. Buzzer is sounded at set end time.

  11. Everyone bows and says in unison “gochisosamadeshita”.

  12. Representative asks each table for their report.

  13. Each group’s representative stands in turn and announces the number of table members who failed to meet the weekly and monthly lunch-time objectives (this week was “Not stuffing one’s mouth with food” and this month was “Finishing the meal in the given time”).

  14. Numbers of those who failed to meet the objectives are recorded on a large poster at the front of the room.

  15. Tables with a perfect record for that day are applauded.

  16. A card with a green circle is held up if numbers are within acceptable parameters, and card with a red cross if not.

  17. Bowls, plates and utensils are stacked and returned, tables wiped, chairs stacked and floors swept.

  18. Table members stand to the side of the table as a student inspector comes to each table in turn to check that clean-up has been completed satisfactorily.

  19. If the table is given the ok, group members bow to each other and say in unison “owarimashou” (“let’s finish”).

  20. Everyone exits room and returns their aprons and surgical masks to their respective rooms.

  21. Students race outside and get stuck into the more serious business of some low-down and reckless playing.

A military commander would envy the efficiency on display here.

But let me not give the impression that the kids are just cold-hearted soulless robots. Despite the strangeness of their ritual lunches, and as cynical as I'd like to be, the truth is that I couldn't imagine a nicer and more thoughtful group of robots anywhere.

But seriously... they are great kids. I don't think there's a bad egg or bully among them. Whenever any of the kids see me around the village they always smile and shout out "Andoryu, Andoryu!" The bolder ones run up to give me a high five or a massage(!), or point out for the 10th time that day how tall I am, and try to jump up and touch the top of my head.



For all their insistence on procedure and uniformity, I have to admit it does seem to produce uniformly good-natured kids. This year for Xmas, it'll be white aprons, surgical masks and stopwatches all round...

Monday, November 22, 2004

A-bombs and Okonomiyaki



I cremated my oldest daughter Naoko (three-years-old). The tears flowed without stopping. 'You go first, I'll follow you!' I joined my hands in prayer.
My second son Tatsumi (nine-years-old) was still missing. I prayed that he had fled to safety somewhere.
As she burned, the oil in her body gradually flowed out. A huge amount, what a healthy child! So piteous! I couldn't stand to watch, I thought I would go crazy. How could this be the real world? It was hell....
I have continued to live for 30 years feeling guilty towards my two dead children. Forgive me! I didn't keep my promise, a parent's responsibility. (I didn't have the courage).

--Tamaki Ishifuro (35 at time of bombing, 65 at time of drawing)

Not many people leave the Hiroshima Peace Museum smiling.


ok, so Stuart may have been blinking rather than blubbering... but it was still disturbing

Though we couldn't have asked for better weather on our trip, the irony is that it was precisely the fine weather and clear skies on 5 August 1945 that sealed Hiroshima's fate, and made it's name synonymous with the horror and inhumanities of modern warfare. With an unprecedented 2.2 billion dollars already invested in the Manhattan Project, the US military would settle for nothing less than a clear and unobstructed view of the effects of their latest toy. A few clouds in the sky and it might just have been another Japanese city that ushered in the nuclear age that day. But Hiroshima was chosen, and the rest is history.

We spread our visit to the Peace Park and Peace Museum over 2 days, but it was still pretty overwhelming. This is no sugar-coated version of the events. There are pictures of victims bodies with the patterns on their kimonos etched into their skin; a photo of a little girl lying in a makeshift hospital, her eyes melted by the blast and her face burnt beyond recognition; a life-size diorama with wax models of a mother and her two children burning in the aftermath, their skin melting off their arms; a 13-year-old boy's steel lunchbox bent and warped in the extreme heat, the carbonised remains of his uneaten lunch still inside (his mother found his body lying on top of the lunchbox, still clutching it in his hands). Outside in the park are monuments everywhere to those who died as a result of the blast. There is the Children's Monument dedicated to Sadako who folded paper cranes while dying in hospital of leukaemia.



There is a somewhat belatedly erected monument to the Koreans who died in the blast (largely working in Japan against their will). (click for image)

And there is the park's centrepiece – the A-dome – the skeletal remains of a government building, preserved lest we ever forget what happened.



But the truth is that other than the Peace Park and the A-dome there are few reminders left now of Hiroshima's horrific past. Hiroshima today is a thriving metropolis, and as much as it symbolises mankind's capacity for destruction, equally now it must also symbolise mankind's capacity for survival and rejuvenation. Roads that once served as mortuaries for the hundreds upon thousands that died are now paved-over and bustling with traffic. City blocks that were once nothing but tortured rubble are now filled with high-rises, neon lights and "Delivery Love Rooms".



Where once there was a city with nothing left but despair, now there are nightclubs with Hiroshima's friendly youth bouncing to Brit-pop.



And where once there was radiation and starvation, now there is okonomi-yaki (sometimes called a Japanese pancake, though that hardly does it justice). I recommend the pork...



click to hiroshima photo gallery

Friday, November 12, 2004

All polar bears are left-handed

Six reasons to start a weblog:

All polar bears are left-handed.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
The Earth is slightly egg-shaped.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes!!!

There is only so much of this kind of stuff that anyone one person should know. I do like my job (no, really!), but it does occasionally leave me with an unhealthy amount of free time (though admittedly I've been quite busy lately). Some people might study for a masters degree, work on a charity for underprivileged children or set up a water-tight investment portfolio. All I have to show for it is a stiff neck, an encyclopaedic knowledge of useless information, a fine set of glow-in-the-dark Dracula fangs (Halloween party I organised for the kids), and a brooding resentment that I wasn't born a pig.

Starting a blog won't exactly get me a Nobel Prize, but at least it should keep me productive. Hope you enjoy...